The #TherapistsConnect Podcast

Chloe Foster

Peter Blundell

In this episode of the #TherapistsConnect podcast Dr Peter Blundell interviews Chloe Foster. 

Chloe Foster runs Sussex Rainbow Counselling, a service that specialises in providing support and therapy to the LGBTQ+ community. Her practice focuses on creating a safe, inclusive, and non-judgmental environment for individuals seeking help with issues such as gender identity, sexual orientation, relationship problems, and mental health challenges. Chloe Foster's approach is compassionate and tailored to the unique needs of each client. 

The email counselling service offered by Sussex Rainbow Counselling allows clients to receive support and guidance through written communication. This service is particularly useful for those who prefer the convenience and privacy of remote support. It enables clients to express their thoughts and feelings in writing and receive thoughtful, professional and reflexive responses from Chloe. For more information listen to the episode and access Chloe's book details below. 

For more detailed information or to contact Chloe Foster, visit the Sussex Rainbow Counselling website or their Email Counselling Academy.

Chloe's Website - https://www.sussexrainbowcounselling.com/
Email Counselling Academy (and e-book) - https://www.emailcounsellingacademy.com/product-page/ebook

Links for Peter
Social Media: @drpeterblundell
Website: www.peterblundell.com


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#TherapistsConnect is a platform for connecting therapists.
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Origins of #TherapistsConnect

Dr Peter Blundell:

Hello everyone. And welcome to another episode at the therapist connect podcast. My name is Dr. Peter Blundell and in this this episode I'm interviewing Chloe Foster, who set up Sussex rainbow counseling. Which specializes in therapy with LGBTQ plus clients. And this episode, Chloe talks about setting up in private practice, delivering training during the pandemic and setting up the email counseling academy. If you listen until the end of the episode, you'll hear Chloe give out a generous discount code for their ebook about email counseling. If you'd like to support the podcast further, please leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform or share this episode with colleagues, peers, or students to help us reach a wider audience. I hope you enjoy this episode. Hello everyone to another episode of Therapist Connect podcast. Chloe, it is fantastic to have you here. I know we have chatted quite a bit already, but I'm really excited for our listeners to find out a little bit more about you and the work that you do.

Chloe Foster:

Thank you. Thank you for having me on. I'm so excited for this conversation.

Dr Peter Blundell:

You're very welcome. so we've got the question I ask every single person who comes on the podcast. how did you become a therapist in the first place and what drew you to therapy as a profession?

Chloe Foster:

I think this is a fascinating question. I've really enjoyed listening to other people's answers of this and thinking about my own. I first had personal therapy, in my early twenties when I was at uni, and it was amazing. It was completely free, it was funded by the university and I had such a good experience. I was really, really nervous about having counselling and there was so much stigma. This was like 20 years ago, which I think has lifted quite a lot now. But I felt really scared about reaching out to get help because I had such a good experience. I think that really helped me think about it as a career, but definitely not at that point. It was much later on. I never thought that I would be a counsellor then. it was basically, I was working for an organisation where my job was to coordinate young people aged 18 to 30 to volunteer abroad on European volunteer projects. So I was training them and mentoring them and supporting them on these projects while they were, going abroad and also had international volunteers coming to the UK as well. some of my colleagues at the time were, going on listening skills courses and I was like, hang on a minute. I found out about this and I was like, oh, I'd quite like to do that. And they were called, I think they were called counselling introduction listening skill courses at our local college. And I thought, well, that's great. And also get half a day out of work. So that was nice too. And so I asked my manager if I could do it. And thinking, well, it'd just be a nice course. I love a course. I love to learn and I was astounded. I absolutely fell in love with it. I just really, really enjoyed it. The teacher was great. The group was great. then I went back to my manager and I was like, can I do the next level? Oh God, they're never going to let me do the next level because they had to pay for it. And they let me do the next level. And the next level manager was really supportive and it did actually really, really help me with my work and with being able to support people and working interactively with people. So I'm really glad I did it. I still at that point wasn't thinking I wanted to be a counselor. I just really enjoyed doing these courses. and it wasn't till later on, I was working as an LGBT youth worker. and I did the third level, the level three. Counseling course at the local college and that's where I started to really seriously consider whether or not to go to university and do the postgraduate because people in my class were starting to consider that it hadn't been something on my radar. I just wanted to complete up to the third level. Also at a similar time I was going to get personal therapy, through a charity, that specialized in domestic violence. And I'd been referred for this to get some support from my personal situation. And I, asked in the initial assessment whether or not I could see a gay counselor,'cause I'm gay myself I was really shocked by the answer. They were like, we don't have any gay counsellors. And I was like, okay. Like, okay, maybe they don't, or maybe they're not open. And I was just like, oh, I just think, I think that could really help me. I really would. I feel like it would be really important for me to see a gay counselor. And I was really annoyed and really kind of like, oh, I don't know if I really want to use this service. And it just felt all a bit strange. And I think actually reflecting back on that experience is, what made me, Be more passionate about thinking much more seriously about. Joining this profession and training because my idea was always to specialize in working with LGBTQ clients. and yeah, so that's kind of how it, how it ended up evolving. It was a really slow and long process. I also thought that I was too young to become a counselor because I was doing these courses in my sort of mid to late twenties. and kept thinking, I need to be 30. I need to be at least be 30. And those people are more like 40 when they do these courses. and I kept thinking I was going to be laughed at. But I wasn't going to be taken seriously. I wouldn't have life experience, even though I knew I had life experience. I knew it'd be okay. so finally I turned 30 and I applied, which is ridiculous really looking back.

Dr Peter Blundell:

it was something going on there for you though, you thought that was the age.

Chloe Foster:

even though the minimum on the application at I know it's different depending on what institution you study through, it was 25. but I, I don't know, I just felt like, This is what grown up people do. This is professors. People with all this experience, people aren't going to take me seriously. it was difficult in the beginning, kind of looking younger than I always have been. and in the beginning with placements and stuff, it's not so 10 years on, but.

Dr Peter Blundell:

It sounds like there was a lot to that journey. different elements to it that all kind of led you to this path. I was interested a little bit in terms of you talking about being nervous, going to therapy for the first time. And I was just thinking how many people feel like that kind of like going into a room, particularly if you go to a service where you don't know who you're kind of getting as the therapist, you know, if you're someone in private practice, you've kind of chosen them to some degree, but kind of meeting someone for the first time and kind of feeling like you have to be kind of vulnerable and open about yourself. And you don't really know a lot about that person.

Chloe Foster:

Absolutely. I was so, so nervous. And you know, actually thinking back, I remember specifically that I did not want to go to student services where the reception or something would have been for the counselling to kind of make an appointment. I didn't want a phone. And finally, and I was thinking I really wanted to, you know, I did, I wanted to have counselling, a part of me really wanted to do it, but I was just so nervous to set it up. And then I realised there was an email address. And back then I didn't have internet on my phone, I didn't have internet, at home. So I went to a computer in the library and sent an email to ask to set up an appointment. And that was amazing because I don't know if I would have done it if it wasn't for that. And that's I think made it so much more accessible because me being able to speak out loud was really hard. And that's something I'll speak about later, but I think the power of email and being able to write rather than speak can be really important. And particularly folks that have not had counseling before. or in a really vulnerable and nervous place and or they're younger, so they're, they're a bit, they're much, much more nervous. Typically, I was anyway.

Dr Peter Blundell:

And I think what you described there is like that wanting to reach out and kind of seek out therapy, but then, almost feeling like having a conversation about it just felt too vulnerable to kind of do that and that actually sending an email opened that door a little bit without having to kind of speak to somebody immediately.

Chloe Foster:

Yeah, and interestingly instead of replying to the email they phoned me and Which I just find that hopefully that wouldn't happen these days because we should really respond in the way that our client has communicated with us. But I think they were just trying to set something up quickly and they, you know, it can go backwards and forwards sometimes with appointment times. but that wasn't quite so scary because I'd made that first step.

Dr Peter Blundell:

we'll come on to talk a bit more about that, that, I suppose that topic in it in a bit, but can, before we do that, can you tell us a little bit about your career so far there after you qualified and kind of what you've been up to?

Chloe Foster:

Yeah, sure. So I qualified in 2016, and that's that same year I set up Sussex Rainbow Counselling, which is my private practice, where my niche is working with, sexuality, gender diversity. My peers at the time thought I was mad having a niche. they thought, well, can't I just work with everybody? are you sure you're gonna get enough clients? And I was like, absolutely not. I don't wanna work with everybody. I want to be able to offer, my skills of what I've got experience with.'cause I'd worked loads in the LGBT community in different charities at this point. and it's what excited me. It's what I interested in. And it's kind of clients I wanted to work with. So I set that up and I worked in person for many years and in 2018, I did a specialist training to work online. At the time, remember this was pre pandemic, pre 2020, most counsellors I spoke to were like, Oh, why are you trying to work online? don't you need to see the person? Don't you need to see their full body? You need to be in the same room together and loads and loads of stigma. And I was like, no, I really want to do this. It feels like it's the future. It feels like, this is going to make it more accessible for both clients and for me. So I went ahead and did the training and the training also included, working in text based counselling, including email counselling, which I absolutely, loved. I was doing a mixture of online, like with video calls, email counselling, and in person whilst I was still in Brighton. And then at the end of 2019, I decided that I wanted to relocate, to come back to Scotland, where I'm from, so you can hear from my accent. So having the training to work online and experience working online already and that was set up meant I didn't have to start all over again with building my name and getting enough clients in a local area and getting rooms and all sorts of things. I thought this is going to make sense to work 100 percent online. Again, my friends thought, my counsellor friends thought I was mad. They were like, how are you going to get enough clients? You can't just work only online, surely you'll end up getting a room, you know, hiring a room when you get there. And I was like, no, I feel like online is going to work really well for me and for my clients. So I'm happy to give it a go. Of course, a few months later, Lockdown hit, pandemic, and everybody's, having to go online and then same friends getting in touch. Ah! How do I work online? what system do I use? What's happening with my contract? And then they're kind of scrabbling having to do it. So that was, quite funny. Well, maybe not funny, but it was role reversal. Yeah. Just, and I just thought, well, you see, I was, I'd be saying this, but, and then of course I've carried on working online. like I'd planned to, but it was a bit weird the timing because everyone was like, it's almost like you knew there was a pandemic happening. You relocated and had it all set up and sorted, literally just a few months before lockdown. So I was quite relieved actually.'cause it made. things relatively smooth in my work, which was good. And so, like, during some of the time when I was in Brighton, and then moving back to Scotland and continue to work online, I was doing loads of training and loads of training from about sort of 2018 onward. So I had years where I was running workshops, both in person and online, I did loads of workshops for online events, Counseling Tutor, National Counseling Psychotherapy Society. I spoke at the CTUK conference. I was just basically doing so much in terms of workshops, and training for counselors. I got a bit burnt out really. it was so much like there was sometimes 100, 200 people at some of these online workshops that were really full on. And I was getting loads of people asking me to do private workshops and I was getting really known for this and it was like, Oh, I don't know if I can keep up with all this. I need to take a bit of a breather. And I'd also been doing loads of advocacy work around. pronouns and wanting more counsellors to be more confident around asking their clients about pronouns, what pronouns they use and being more open with their pronouns in their, email signatures. That, I'm pleased to say, has shifted massively. Now it's really, really common for counsellors to have their pronouns in their email signature and their Zoom names. I can see here, we've both got them in our Zoom names here. And it wasn't the case then. So I was really on a mission for that and was really pleased with how things started to shift. But basically, yeah, with all of that work, so many things going on all at once, and the exhaustion of the pandemic, it was so tiring working in the pandemic, working with clients, talking about similar things around lockdown, all the time for those of us who were doing it.

Dr Peter Blundell:

I'm interested in hearing your experiences of that over the pandemic, because I think a lot of us who were doing events online, I think because it almost felt like people were working harder in some respect. Kind of every moment was kind of filled with doing work. There was no commute. And there was such a demand for kind of online. groups, online communities, online stuff, videos and webinars with that kind of stuff. So those of us who were doing those type of events, I know a lot of people kind of got to a point of feeling quite burnt out. At that time. Yeah. and ended up taking a step back. And I think, I don't, I think that was partly the pandemic and then partly working online and I think it was a combination of events that kind of came together around that, I think.

Chloe Foster:

Sure, yeah, it was so much, and I'm a very determined person, like, once I get my head around something that I want to do, I'm just like, right, I'm doing it, and filling my time, so, just sitting around, watching the telly or something, I just couldn't have done that, I needed to be thriving to keep having projects to focus on and to be doing stuff and it really helped me I really enjoyed it, but it got to a point where I was like, Oh, I've taken on a lot, and this has been going on for quite some time now, alongside working with clients, and particularly in the beginning, when, you know, there'd be weeks and weeks would go by where almost everyone was talking about the, about lockdown and how difficult it was to be living through lockdown. And then to also be living through that myself and be like, I just don't want to think about this anymore. Because everyone was talking about friends and family too, but then to be talking about it. So solidly with clients was really tiring, really hard work. And I'm sure you had similar experiences and people listening who were working through those times, which really tough. So to be doing the trainings, all of those big trainings with lots of eyes knew was like, I didn't realize how much it was taking out of me. I feel like I got a lot from it, but also it took a lot, and over time it was burning me out. So I did sort of take a bit of a step back. I was much more active on social media in those days. And now you'll see that I'm much quieter I've never really. put myself back into those places in the same way. I'm finding it difficult to find that capacity that might change. but for the time being, yeah, I felt like I just wanted to hide away and just be like, oh, maybe I'll just see my clients. Why can't I just do that like other colleagues? Why do I have to always have all these extra projects? I mean, that's not really me. I always love to have Loads of other projects and other things going on.

Dr Peter Blundell:

And I'm laughing, I'm laughing, I'm just laughing because I can relate. Yeah,

Chloe Foster:

I was thinking that, as I was saying that, I was thinking, yeah, you seem like that kind of person too. And it's lovely to meet fellow colleagues who are, who are similar in that way. Yeah, it's nice to have other things going on. So I thought to myself, instead of doing trainings, And for a bit, not, I wasn't going to completely stop, but just to take a bit of a breather, but to do something else alongside working with clients. I thought, I'm going to write a book. I really want people to know more about email counselling. It's going to be a short e book and it's going to be what I come to know and my experiences of email counselling over the years. because so many counsellors don't really know much about it. So I thought, yeah, that would be nice. then I'd have to speak to anybody. I could just hide away and type away. And that was nice. But then when I released the book, lots of people were asking, Oh, how do I find out more? How do I get training? Is there any training options? I do lots of training. I have done lots of training. I've got lots of experience. I've done teaching and training actually since 2003. It's been pretty much. Always part of my career, so I thought, maybe I could put something together. maybe that could be quite interesting for people that are interested. And I thought I'll just put something short together and just to give people a bit of a taster. And then it just sort of escalated and I ended up creating more and more the courses that I released initially were really popular and then I ended up having waiting lists, loads and loads of people waiting and I was like, and then I released it again and then there was people, more people wanting to join up. I just can't keep up with All these live trainings and all these Saturdays, it's too much all on my own. And I don't really want to involve lots of other people. So then I thought maybe I could do some self paced courses. So that's what I've been working on recently. self paced recorded courses so that more people can access the training without me having to. keep running them. So, that's kind of where I'm up to really in my career. So that's a long answer.

Dr Peter Blundell:

No, no, it's fantastic. And I think we'll probably talk a little bit more about the email counseling. But what is email counseling?

Chloe Foster:

So email counseling is basically in a nutshell, a secure therapeutic email exchange between a qualified counsellor and a client and you would use a secure platform where you are both communicating with each other by email. And I think the mistake that some people make, they think that, oh, that's going to be really messy. It's going to be really unboundary, just randomly sending emails to each other. how can that work? It's really important that it's boundaried, so there's a very specific word count and set time and day that the client is asked to send their email by. They can send it earlier if they want, but I won't be opening it until the time that's kind of been agreed. And then there'll be a set time and day that I will be responding by. So it's really tightly set up in that way. And it basically gives clients the opportunity to write at a time that works for them. As I say, they can send it when works for them, as long as it's in by the time we've agreed. and it's really good for people who, particularly if they work shifts or they are, parents and they need to do their session at like nine or 10:00 PM in the evening, and most counselors probably aren't gonna offer a session that time. I'm definitely not gonna be. And so they can. They can write a time that works for them. So it's really flexible, much more accessible. And they don't have to have a set time every week. And also I don't have to have a set time every week. So it's really accessible and flexible for me as a counsellor. I can, I can work when I want. I can get up really early and do my, do my email sessions and then finish early if I want to. But I don't have to commit to that every week. I can, I can move it around.

Dr Peter Blundell:

It's so interesting. There's a lot of flexibility to that, still very boundaried. I was also, I was imagining the pace is also obviously very different to seeing somebody in person or virtually.

Chloe Foster:

Definitely. The pace is very different. It doesn't work very well for people who are in immediate crisis situations where there's things that are changing day by day. Because the things that they will write will be out of date by the time I reply. So that's really important that I'm clear with people around that. for most people, they like the space to be able to process things. So they can really think about what they want to write and carefully write it and not kind of be faced with a question by a counselor like, Oh, what do you make of that? How do you feel about that? Or what can you say more? And then you're like, ah, and then sometimes, you know, some clients are, you know, lots of times just passing in their session. They haven't really, they're not really ready to answer. They need more time to process it and to think. And this way they can keep reading over my reply and not think, Oh, what was it Chloe said? Oh, I can't remember. Because some people, you know, I'm like that. Sometimes I can't remember what my counsellor said. And I'm just like, ah, that's really annoying. It's really frustrating. But with an email, I can read it back.

Dr Peter Blundell:

That's really interesting. And do you charge per email? How does it, how does it work?

Chloe Foster:

Yes, per email exchange. Yeah. so the fee would be for each email exchange, which means the client's email to me, and then my reply would be one fee. so we're getting a 50, because we have like the, the word count we use is the same for both the client and counselor. So they're getting as much back as they've given, which is actually quite unusual. in, in an email, in a traditional counseling.

Dr Peter Blundell:

So I don't know if my next question is covered in what you've already said, but how do you define your therapeutic approach now?

Chloe Foster:

So I was trained as a humanistic counsellor and I would very much say that my approach as a counselor is, is still humanistic, but it's with a very queer and neurodivergent lens. So I'm queer and neurodivergent myself. And this is very much comes out in my work and in the clients who choose to come and see me. I would throw in ideas or some thoughts, throughout our sessions, which I have found to be really helpful, particularly when people are exploring things around their identity. and they find that really helpful when their counsellor is open and out. I think also my approach as a therapist is to try to be as accessible and flexible as possible. And I think this is where the email counselling comes in. because email counselling offers another option in terms of accessibility. It's not going to be accessible for everyone, obviously, but it gives that other option. And because I work in a mixture of ways, people don't have to choose. On the email counseling and that's it. They can have some video calls, some email sessions, for example, and they can have that mixture if they want, and then they've got that flexibility of when they meet me.

Dr Peter Blundell:

And it sounds like that flexibility works really well for your clients.

Chloe Foster:

Yeah, definitely. And for me too, as a counsellor, and I think that's why so many of us have chosen to go 100 percent online in general. I mean, when I say online, I mean video calls. So many of my colleagues are now only online. And that's not just because it works well for the clients, but it also works well for us as practitioners. We don't have to, to do the commute and pay lots of money for room hire and things like that. So, but I think with email counseling too, it's got to work both ways. We've got to be able to enjoy it and feel like it works for us, as well as our clients, and it does for me, so.

Dr Peter Blundell:

I'm also interested in this idea. I don't know, because there's probably not been any research done that a lot of us went online and so did the video calls, but I haven't heard as much people talking about email counseling. I haven't really seen anyone else doing any training in it apart from yourself. So, it's, I think it's an area that will be growing, I think.

Chloe Foster:

Yeah, I really hear that a lot, unfortunately. And I think that's why I'm so powered up in my mission. A bit like when I was talking earlier about kind of pronouns and stuff, and we're just like, ah, not enough people are talking about this this is so important. and I think that often in my experience. The, traditional kind of online counseling courses and ones that have existed pre pandemic tend to cover email counseling, but more as a sort of an add on, not as its main focus. and I haven't yet seen courses where I'm specifically focusing on email counseling. And it is something where. People have much less confidence around and don't really know where they're going with and want to learn more on. So I think it's going to grow.

Dr Peter Blundell:

I hope it's going to grow. Absolutely. I'm sure you'll have lots of inquiries after this podcast comes out. I wondered how do you see the wider therapy community and how connected you feel to other therapists?

Chloe Foster:

Well, like I was saying earlier, social media really helped me in the early days. I was really active online And connected with lots of people, yourself included, and felt like if I hadn't have had social media, I don't know how I would have, connected with so many like minded counsellors, because I would have just had the people in my local area, people I trained with. So that's massively helped me. Although I'm not so active these days, I feel like those contacts and networks that I've made are still really strong. maybe it's because I'm less in need of building new communities because I've been doing it for quite a long time. having moved to Edinburgh, I went to a conference. I think it was last year and, I met some people who were queer Edinburgh therapists and we decided to set up our own queer therapy group. So that's really lovely. So I feel really connected to the community there in terms of. socializing, networking, referrals. So it's lovely to have that local group, as well as a more online group. And I've also just coming to the end of my supervision training And I've made a really solid group of peers with my class. It was a lovely small class and lots of people at a similar stage in careers, me kind of ready to take on supervision. So we've got our own little group now too. So that's really lovely. So I really enjoy having colleagues in different places. Yeah, it's nice to have that connection.

Dr Peter Blundell:

It's great. It also sounds like you've kind of made connections online, but then also in person as well, which I think is, great that you've got that balance of both those communities.

Chloe Foster:

Yeah, I think specifically with working online, it's like in lots of ways, you could think, well, it doesn't matter Where I meet people, but it's quite nice actually to have the local colleagues as well and to be able to go to, a local talk and to just have coffees together and stuff. It's just, it's quite nice to have that balance and to know there's kind of people around.

Dr Peter Blundell:

Chloe, this has been wonderful. we've come to the end of our, well, my questions. I suppose my last one is kind of what future plans have you got, or is there anything you want to tell our listeners about that they haven't heard about so far?

Chloe Foster:

I'd like to let listeners know that the email counselling training that I've mentioned is becoming a bigger thing. I've now set up a brand new website, Email Counseling Academy. So this is going to be officially launching in the autumn of 2024, depending on when you're listening to this. I've been doing lots of beta tests and pilots over the last year or so with these courses. So I'd love it if anyone's interested in finding out more and learning more about email counselling. that's my biggest thing at the moment alongside client work, It's the email counselling because I'm really on a mission to try to help more counsellors be confident in offering it because then more clients can be reached because I can't work with everyone and the few people that I've trained so far won't be able to either. So I really want to try and grow that. For your listeners, I've got a lovely 30 percent off discount code for my ebook. So my ebook is email counselling and introduction for counsellors, and it comes with a bonus audio book, which gives you a real taster of what email counselling is and how it works it helps you. work out whether or not it's something that you would like to train in and learn more. So I think it's hopefully a useful thing to read before thinking about whether or not you want to spend lots of money on a training, it's an offer for your listeners, 30 percent off if you use the code TC, the capital letter T and C for Therapy Connect. So TC24. all in capital letters and that will expire at the end of 2024.

Dr Peter Blundell:

That's fantastic. Thank you. That's a generous offer. And I think that's going to be great for people who, as you say, just want to inquire and know a little bit more about email counselling. before they make a decision about whether they want to do a course with you or some further training. So that's absolutely fantastic. And, where else can people find you on social media? What's your general social media or website?

Chloe Foster:

At the moment, LinkedIn is the best place to find me actually. I'm hoping, planning to be a little bit more active on there, going forward. That feels like the best place for me at the moment. The other places that I've used in the past have, not been very active in for a while and I don't think I'm going to have capacity to keep all of those going. And so, yeah, I think you just find me through my name, Chloe Foster, on LinkedIn, and so you're welcome to come and connect with me there. my private practice is SussexRainbowCounselling. com, where you'll find out all the stuff around the LGBTQ counselling work that I do. With clients, but there's also lots of blogs and resources around working with LGBTQ plus clients. If that's something you're interested in. I'm not currently offering training to counselors, but there's lots of information and resources on there if that's of interest. And alongside that, my other website is email counseling academy. com. And that's where it's specifically got information around. training to become an email counsellor.

Dr Peter Blundell:

Brilliant. Well, Chloe, best of luck with all of that. I hope at some point I'll be able to come on one of your training courses and get some experience of email counselling and the nuances of that. thank you very much for coming on the Therapist Connect podcast.

Chloe Foster:

Thank you. It's been great to chat to you.

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