Amy Alexander

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Opening: 0:01

This episode of therapists Connect podcast is sponsored by webhealer. The number one website provider for private practice therapists, serving the community for 20 years Web Healer offers a non technical and fully supported online platform, helping therapists use the internet to grow their practice. Whether you need a website, a booking system, or even a secure email address for your practice when he left can help contact where people today via www.webhealer.net and use the coupon Therapist Connect for 100 pounds off their do it for me service Welcome to the Therapist Connect Podcast, a podcast for therapists by therapists.

Peter Blundell: 0:52

Hello, and welcome to this episode of The therapist connector podcast. My name is Dr. Peter Blundell. And today I'm back interviewing therapists about their life and work within the therapy community. Today's guest is Amy Alexander. Amy is a psychotherapist who works in Northamptonshire. She works both face to face and online. Her framework for working is relational and trauma informed. And she has a specific interest in anxiety, eating disorders and childhood trauma. Amy's website is www.amyalexander.co.uk. Or you can also find her on Twitter, which is where we met at the Twitter handle@amybtreathes. And delighted to welcome her to the podcast today and hear a little bit more about her life and work. It's lovely to meet you.

Amy Alexander: 1:39

Lovely to meet you too. I'm excited. Yeah,

Peter Blundell: 1:42

it's gonna be really good. So it'll be really interesting because I don't know a lot about you. So these questions will be kind of I will get a bit more about you.

Amy Alexander: 1:52

I was so curious when you messaged me because I felt like oh, oh, okay. Sure. Because we hadn't ever really exchanged.

Peter Blundell: 2:03

Yeah,

Amy Alexander: 2:04

Any messages. I mean, I, I've liked a lot of your tweets or, you know, I do a lot of retweeting of therapists connect, because it's a big audience. And, but I was really flattered. So I'm really happy to be here. I hope I am. I hope I bring something interesting,

Peter Blundell: 2:19

although it's great, because, as I say, we haven't really interacted that much. But I heard you in the listening listening space, which I wasn't I didn't contribute to obviously, I wasn't, I wasn't kind of speaking in that, but I was listening to it. And it was just I just loved your way in that space. Considering that you didn't really know anybody. You just got to join this space and started speaking to people, or other therapists. It was great. So I just thought it'd be interesting to hear a bit more about you and your practice. I'm sure our listeners will be interested as

Amy Alexander: 2:52

well. very privileged. Thank you.

Peter Blundell: 2:54

You're very welcome. So I'm really interested in the answer to this question, because I've seen a little bit on your website, kind of a little bit about you and you've moved and things like that. So I'm really kind of interested in what drew you to therapy as a profession, kind of what started off your interest as being a therapist.

Amy Alexander: 3:16

It is an interesting question because it's complex. I didn't wake up as I didn't have a sort of vocational, if you like calling, which I think a lot of people do in psychotherapy at a young age. I grew up in California. And as you can imagine, in the 70s, I was born in the early, very early 70s 71. My, it was ok to have a therapist, you know, I'm my, my father was a my biological father was a musician. And my mother's a teacher, but she lived in the famous Haight Ashbury in the 60s, she hung out with the Grateful Dead. My biological father was a very famous musician in the States. So we were always around artists and painters and musicians and poets. And so talking about creativity and talking about your feelings really was not something that was taboo at all. We just kind of accepted that, you know, when people would say, I have a therapist, I'm ...or I'm, you know, studying Steiner, or these things were very normal to us. Unfortunately, unfortunately, I'm not sure that's the right word. But sadly, unfortunately, my biological father in his musicianship was also incredibly chaotic person and wasn't really able to manage his need to be on stage and his knee and our need for a father. So my mother who was very young, I think when I was born, she was 26 or 27. My sister she was 23. And we are comforted from it like a mixed family, so I don't have any full siblings. But my sister and my brother were brought to the family. So it was the five of us, and he was away a lot. And another unfortunate thing is what we suspect now is that my half brother was born with fetal alcohol syndrome, not my biological mother son. So life was incredibly chaotic. And he was put into a therapeutic nursery school. So he went to school called Julianne Singer in Los Angeles, which is basically therapeutic school. So our language around therapy and our language around mental health was just always in the lexicon of the family. So I, although that, although that language was there, I wasn't really drawn to being a therapist, I just was familiar with all the the conversation around why people go to therapy or what it's for medication, you know, things like that. As my brother grew older, he became very, very violent. And very, he had oppositional defiant disorder, and, you know, all those things, you know, all those disorders, all of those everything, all the things suspected, possibly even to be schizophrenic. But, you know, so the family had to go into periods of family therapy. And while it's, I don't think my therapist was stellar. I think it gave me a language around my own experience. And then as I grew up, sort of into my teens, I decided to go to drop out of school, I dropped out of high school, when I was 15, or 16, and was very bohemian for a while in Los Angeles. And my parents had divorced by this time, and it was just me and my mother. And I decided at 17 or 18, to move to Arizona randomly with a boyfriend. Of course, it was much too old for me. So I sort of ran away. And I worked in care homes with young adults, it was a well paid job, but easily gotten because they're difficult jobs. So I did that for awhile. And then about my 19th or 20th birthday, my biological father called me and said, Your brother has taken his own life, he killed himself. And you need to come to Texas, where they were living, and we need to deal with that. So he really unfortunately, you know, he was such a big shaper of some my brother and my father, too, incredibly, in my opinion, toxic people were such a big shaper and my understanding of of mirrors and relationships and stories. So when that whole thing happened, I didn't cope at all in between that, and what I know now is post complex post traumatic stress from a very difficult childhood. I had, I would say it was a breakdown, I hate that word breakdown. Because I don't think I broke down. I think I broke apart. And my biological father was living in Texas in this tiny little streamline trailer. And he said, you can come live with me. I mean, I was, you know, had my hair on fire. He had never offered me solace or space or any of those things. And I was thinking, Yes, you know, this is it, this is our time to, you know, do the thing together to be together. And, you know, Hope springs eternal. And he said, I had disclosed to him that my brother had been abusive towards me. And he, he's, he was, you know, unable to really manage it, but said I met somebody who is a therapist, and she specializes in these things. You do want to go see her and I thought, Yes, finally, some solace, some relief. It's been so chaotic, it's so difficult. And I went to see her and she really gave me space and she was associate law sociology professor or teach you're not a professor. That's not true. She was a sociology teacher lecturer at the University I went to and you know, it was like walking into the softest place. But a lot of my story starts that way. You know, you think it's gonna be okay. But I saw her probably for like eight sections or nine sessions and on the night session, having you know, having her referred me to a psych psych to a psychiatrist and all these, these, these good things were happening. I was an I entered into, into university, I, you know, I got my do my high school diploma and things were starting to feel like they were changing. And I got into the session and she said, I'm not going to be able to see you anymore because I've got now a full time job at the university. And of course, I was crushed. And she said, and I'm dating your father. Yeah. So they had started a relationship behind my back. But you have to remember that what's really important in this story, is I was very vulnerable. And although my mother and I now my, my mother's, you know, my mother's in her 70s, we have come. So far, she's a stellar human being, we have healed so many things. But it was difficult, because my father had fractured so many things, including her that she really couldn't manage after about 14 or 15, to really hold me together. So if you can imagine somebody who is broken apart, and their therapist says, I'm not going to be your mom. Of course, I was delighted. So that I thought, right, I'm going to be a sociologist, and I'm going to be a therapist, and it says, this is the way it's going to go. And, of course, it didn't go that way. For a while. And things were good in terms of the the illusion of it all. I'm going to take care of your father, he's going to be more present. You know, we're all going to be this fantastic family. She's you know, meanwhile, she's not even that much older than I am. You know, she's probably 39, and I'm 20 at that point. So, you know, I mean, I don't know, it was a shit show, I think if I can put it that way. But I didn't see that. Because everything in me wanted to have space. And I keep that word keeps coming up, because it's so important in my own practice giving people space. So I met somebody when I was at university, and I was now living on my own, but you know, going to dinner and you know, all these things, didn't think anything was wrong here. They didn't want to see anything being wrong. And I met my former husband, who's British, and I fell in love with him. And I was like, in my early 20s, and he said, Come on visit. And so I ran as fast as I could. My instinct said, run, this is not a good place for you. So I ran. And I came to England, and we got married, and I had a little boy who's no longer so little. In 1996, I had my son Max. And you know, things were good. And then things were bad. Because, of course, I chose somebody who couldn't manage to be available to me. But I also know I was in jobless. And, and I really was drawn to this idea of it kept coming back to me. I mean, you just investigate it, just investigate it. So it did. And I went to Hackney, what was it Hackney Community College, I think it was called them. And I did a certificate in counseling, and I was a single mum. So it was working at rank Xerox as it was then doing IT rollouts. And I started to really thrive in that area. So it just at that point, I thought, right, I'm going to do the next thing. And then I'm going to do the next thing. So I got to the point where I was doing sort of intermediate. And then I went to my level, which now is a level seven, but then was a level five in the 90s late 90s. And of course I had to start seeing the therapist. So I met what was I couldn't believe probably the love of my life. She's the greatest. We're no longer working together because she's retired, but she really she really did offer space. And when I told her the story about becoming a therapist, and I told her the story that I told you and what your face sort of fell. She same thing happened with her and it again cracked some more things open, where I realized that that relationship was probably one of the most damaging things. One of the most damaging things that had ever happened to me was my therapist being in a relationship with my father. And I started to realize that this work was going to be my life's work was to create space for myself and for other people to feel truly safe to feel truly heard to feel truly welcomed into a place of curiosity, and creativity, and boundaries and loving boundaries. And also love, you know, to say this place is a loving place, this is not a scary place, someone's going to get you. So as my career grew, and as I, you know, got into more training that, you know, I was, again, a single parent, so it was a big juggle, but I created this fantastic practice, which 29 years 25 years later, because Max is 26. So that's how I got into psychotherapy.

Peter Blundell: 15:40

Wow. I mean, thank you so much for sharing so much of your experience there. But I was just thinking about it sounds like that there was so many different aspects that kind of came together.

Amy Alexander: 15:53

They were.

Peter Blundell: 15:54

For you to get to that point to be a therapist, but also, what's really standing out to me is that kind of idea of wanting to create safe spaces for other people, and based on actually being in some very unsafe spaces yourself over different periods of time.

Amy Alexander: 16:13

But also being able to manage that in some way with my first psychotherapist, my first very impactful psychotherapist, who was a transactional analyst. And she just made it, okay. And I don't mean she fixed it, let me know if other she'd helped me fix you, she made it okay to be curious to be angry, which is something I've never really done is got angry, because anger always meant violence in my phone, that you don't pick this stuff up, you get hit, you know, or, you know, you're sent to your room, or, you know, or, and, you know, women in my experience, were just very vulnerable creatures who could step between me and the world. So creating that space, not only did my first therapist create that space, for me, I was able to create that space for me, I started to be to think about myself in very different ways, with my studying, and also being a single parent of a boy. And creating a community in England in London, I lived in London, almost his whole life and now live in the countryside. So creating those spaces, they just kept being created. Some of them were very negative, and very hurtful. And some of them were explosively beautiful. And some of them were terribly ordinary, just ordinary stuff. Because my expectations were the ordinary was extraordinary. And actually, I was creating ordinary safe spaces that weren't extraordinary. They were just a given.

Peter Blundell: 17:46

Thank you for sharing, for sharing that. So you did qualify to become a therapist.

Amy Alexander: 17:52

I did it. I think it was I started I actually started practicing in 1999. And I qualified because I had to do all my hours. Worked Victim Support, which is it's the one of the funniest and one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. Because it was real maverick in you know, it was a real Maverick entity back then. So I got all my hours and then I started my practice.

Peter Blundell: 18:19

Okay, tell me what you mean by Maverick.

Amy Alexander: 18:23

Listen, I worked at Victim Support and Wood Green in London, North London. And if you know, you know, and these two women, these two women ran victims, they ran it with everything in their body. You know, there was no there but it was like they would go outside and smoke you know, and they would they would cackle and they would you know, they were just these two extraordinary tough inner city, London women. And they sort of did what they felt like they needed to do to help people who were victimized by crime. And it was Maverick. And I think a lot of the women in my life are pretty Maverick.

Peter Blundell: 19:06

Are you a maverick?

Amy Alexander: 19:08

Maverick? I think in my own way I certainly am. Within my own self. No I can I am I think I'm I think that what makes me Maverick is that I didn't die. And I know that sounds extreme. But my life was extreme as a child that I said yes to not die. But it doesn't mean I said yes to life. I just said yes to not die, which is huge achievement. Coming from where my certainly my sister and I came from a man for my mother and to to break that generational trauma was really just about hard work miracle. So that's that's the maverick that I see in myself. Yeah.

Peter Blundell: 19:58

And so you you did break that generational trauma. And you became a therapist. Yeah. Can you tell us a little bit about your career, then as a therapist? Where has it taken you?

Amy Alexander: 20:10

Well, you know, I think one of the things that has always been difficult for me, is to be seen. Now I say that. And, you know, I'm sure my mother when she listens to this will laugh, because they used to call me the bold one. As a little child, I used to be and have a lot of regulation or filters. And we I was always the one who was like, let's do a play. My mother said that when I was four years old, um, one of the friends was coming over and he was an orphan. And he was also tremendously overweight, two things he was incredibly sensitive about. And I was only four. So my parents weren't going to say don't say anything. But my mom said, you know, she, you open the door and said, Hi, my name is Amy, why are you so fat? Where's your mama? So was really just locked in, you know. So being seen is different from being being observed and being seen as different from being an emotional puffer fish, which I was my whole life. So with my career, I started to quiet down. And I did this level I did this level five was like a BTEC. At that CPCAB, you know, is that sort of at that level? But it was? No, I did it for two years, I worked hard. And I worked through it. And I earned every, every minute of it, I earned. But then I thought, right, so what am I going to do with this? I mean, I can see clients, but what's my hook, as they say? And I had had a very substantial eating disorder as a young woman. And I thought, right, I wonder, is there any eating disorders therapists in 1999, like to that none. So little. So I went to the National Center for eating disorders run by Deanne Jade. And I did a master's practitioner, we know whatever, you know, that's worth. It's worth a lot for a lot of people. And certainly, it started my career. So I will be forever grateful to them. I know. There's some controversy around them. But they helped me start my career. So I will always be grateful. And I just started to invite I guess, Maverick way, take clients who are dreadfully ill with eating disorders. And that's where it started. And then I started to work with a colleague, who she said she wanted to start an eating problems service not, not an not like the National Center for Eating Disorders. I don't know if you remember, it was that before BEET. So we started that when she started, I was a founding member. And then that went on to starting a charity called Foundations. And Foundations was a charity that was aimed at going to schools and doing workshops with young girls, not boys, because of course, at that time, we didn't we didn't we weren't being inclusive. We didn't see that boy said eating disorders. If we did, it didn't really come into it, because we weren't there yet. So we taught and we didn't know that but you know, as always, as it always is unpaid. So working for charities and being introduced to them African those situations, it's great, but I had a child to feed. And it was taking up all of my time. So I decided to pull back from those things and just work more my practice. So I did that. For many, many years. I worked really exclusively with disorders.

Peter Blundell: 23:57

This is just a short break to have a message from one of our sponsors, so please don't go anywhere. If you'd like to sponsor an episode of the Therapist Connect Podcast, send us an email for more details info@therapists-connect.com.

Opening: 24:13

This episode of therapist Connect podcast is sponsored by webhealer the number one website provider for private practice therapists serving the community for 20 years where webhealer offers a non technical and fully supported online platform, helping therapists use the internet to grow their practice. Whether you need a website a booking system, or even a secure email address for your practice when he left can help contact where people today via www.webhealer.net and use the coupon Therapist Connect for 100 pounds off then do it for me service

Peter Blundell: 24:54

We hope you enjoy the rest of this episode.

Amy Alexander: 24:57

And then so did I just decided to get a master's in psychotherapy. Oh, and I had an interview and the, and the director of the transactional analysis program said you don't need to do the first year, you're, you know, you're, you know, 15 years in or 16 years in and I, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna grandparent you into the program. And as we go, and it was miserable, I hated it. absolutely hated it. Because I had been working on my own for so many years. And I was sitting in a group of people who had, who had not been psychotherapists. So the language I was using, was seen as elitist and difficult. And my supervisor, talks about that time, and that group is a narcissistic group. It was probably one of the hardest experiences of education I've ever had. And I am dyslexic in some ways, and a little bit ADD. So it was hard for me at any rate plus eight my formal education was nowt. It was a really hard experience. And I felt very bullied. Very, very bullied. And so I didn't finish, I couldn't do it. With all the other things that were going on, I did my second and your third year. And then I decided that at that time, in my life, things were I was things were really kind of personally quite good. So it didn't, I didn't follow through with it, I decided for my own mental health. That, that I wasn't going to do, but I did gain from the hours and hours and the essays and the nose to the grindstone and experiencing that group process, which was brutal. And I'm sure some people will understand that group process. I think what it did for me was it allowed me in group process to swim with, you know, really swim with the alligators. And I wouldn't like to call anybody individually, alligators, because that's not true that the process was wild. It was a wild process. So it taught me how to experience education and learning and group process. And it really changed my life. So I'm, again, forever grateful, because it changed transactional analysis and those theoretical frameworks and talking and exploring, it changed my ability to just change everything. So, from that, I, I just started to see my practice differently, completely differently. And I think a very different kind of therapist

Peter Blundell: 28:07

There was still valuable learning that came from although the experience of it sounded quite traumatic, really to go so

Amy Alexander: 28:15

Well. You look. I think that I was underprepared and didn't know how to defend myself. Because I think, you know, when people talk about an affected child I was I couldn't do very much in the face of it except for go home and you know, cry, which was fine. But it was an it was an invaluable, invaluable experience. And I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change it because, you know, sandpaper, you know, brings things smooth I am I like, resentful Am I not at all. I don't have those people on my face that for pretty much no. But I do carry them with me as as as light bearers to my learning. Yeah. So that's sort of been my career and, and working alone. is tough. Working on your own is tough, and I burnt out in 2017 I burnt up completely burnt out. I was like, why am I doing this? What is therapy for? This is a stupid job. I really would think that why am I coming to this off? Who do I think I am? It was kind of an existential Why am I here? Who do I think I am? This is a bullshit profession with mean people I don't want to do anymore. Of course I do. Yeah. But it was a tough time,

Peter Blundell: 30:02

A real crisis of confidence in it in that moment.

Amy Alexander: 30:06

And it's the being seen again, it's, you know, you I find that being seen, and whether that being with success can, or openness or saying, Hey, these are my qualifications, this is what I know how to do, can be very intimidating. And so being a private practice can be a way of hiding from that. I mean, you don't get a cake on your birthday. And I've got, you know, two dogs to fish and a cat who greet me at the office door. No one's saying how was your weekend just looking at me to get fed. So it's tough. But it's you can certainly not make very much noise, hide behind a lot of stuff.

Peter Blundell: 30:57

And that there is something about that something that we know about in therapists connect to so many practitioners out there who do feel extremely lonely and isolated and Yeah, been in private practice.

Amy Alexander: 31:08

You know what helped with that, and I know this, this, this is I have a private Twitter. You know, but it was, so I had to, I had to stop. It was just too many. It was bad. I didn't like the stuff I was reading. It didn't pertain to me. Seemed like everyone was just shouting into, you know, the, you know, the blackest of nights. So I'm not doing that anymore. And then I I thought, I just have a professional Twitter. I thought, Oh, hi, everybody. And that really allowed me to see a lot more people. And I've only been on Twitter for like, five, six months, it really did start a conversation in my own mind about knowing things.

Peter Blundell: 31:57

And it's interesting, because that's how I did what happened with me originally, I had a personal account, and was like, what, what is this? What is going on?

Amy Alexander: 32:07

Why is everyone so mad? To be mean, people stop.

Peter Blundell: 32:13

And now I have a professional account. I understand why everyone's mad there.

Amy Alexander: 32:19

I don't know. I don't tweet a lot. And I do a lot of tweeting that's just real gentle. Because it's how I feel like I want to be in the world. I can't I you know, it's like, it's not my circus. It's not my monkeys. I have so many other things. And I have fought for the 51 years on this earth to for a lot of causes. Personal and not professional, I'll be honest with you. And I can't and those fights are too. They're too much for me. I don't have the room anymore. I think about them though. But I know when to hold them and when to fold them. And I you know, it's important to keep yourself safe. Because that's that's consensually that's, yeah. Yeah.

Peter Blundell: 33:04

And I and I really appreciate a lot of people who have those fights. And it's that balance for me as well in terms of like, what am I practically doing? And then what am I just kind of tweeting about all kinds of, you know, and sometimes I'm like, actually, I need to go and invest my energy and go into practically doing something about this.

Amy Alexander: 33:25

Yes. And, and, you know, I also think, I mean, if we're talking a little bit about social media, and Twitter, yeah. I very much enjoy. I read what's the word is enjoy. I really find great, great joy and being friends with one Twitter is that what you call it friends with a bunch of other people who are you're advocating for themselves, and are saying, Don't say that about me or don't do that i It gives me great joy. And also people who are using words that I've never heard of these incredible PhD, you know, professors of neuroscience, ecology, so I'm getting what I'm taking what I need from those incredible people.

Peter Blundell: 34:18

I mean, as as a space and a place for knowledge and insight into other people's experiences. It's it's, it's, it's it's such a resource, thinking about the broader therapy community, then what do you think is like the biggest challenge that we might face as a profession right now?

Amy Alexander: 34:35

Diversity, diversity, diversity, diversity? I think we have to be able to afford people who come from places of disadvantage. The opportunity to be curious about their process and the process of others and we are charging 6000 pounds and for education For a year, whatever it is, or eight or 10. And we are asking people to then work their hours for free to get their hours. Tell me this is not privilege on fire. We have to we have to change this. It's a bad idea.

Peter Blundell: 35:20

We talked touched on this a little bit as we spoke about social media, but wondering and especially touched on it in other ways, as well. But I wanted to how connected do you feel to the wider therapy community? has that shifted at all over over the time that you've been?

Amy Alexander: 35:34

A little bit? Yeah, I mean, I also am really lucky to. I have a great I have wonderful friends and family. So I have those kinds of things. But I'm not as connected to my therapy community and the men and women and other than I would like to be. And I don't quite know why that is. Maybe it's there's a little I'm a little hesitant, because it's like what is a group of therapist and my experience is like, a murder of therapists. So I'm gently walking into a place of being seen and seeing others. I think it's a gentle process.

Peter Blundell: 36:16

Well, that's been I find that fascinating because of where we met. Well, actually, no, I met you there you didnt necessarily meet me that was in the Twitter? Is it called a listening space? I'm not sure what it's called?

Amy Alexander: 36:29

A room, a room? Yeah,

Peter Blundell: 36:31

A Twitter room, which was different therapists, or someone had set up the room just to talk about kind of therapy. And it was interesting. Yeah. And then you were you were in there with kind of like, I have like six other people kind of just from all over the world, just talking about like, what it like, what it's like to be a therapist, and

Amy Alexander: 36:51

We can talk a lot about what it's like to be therapists in our regions. And there was some people were really worried that they're the clients were listening. And I remember saying, but I'm not saying anything that's going to hurt, take those risks and hurt anybody that would be beyond my ethical place to go. So this is a creative space. So we're all just talking about each other and to each other. Yeah, yeah.

Peter Blundell: 37:17

But I'm interested in that. And in that you don't necessarily feel like that connected, what drove you or have pushed us to kind of speak in that space? Can you? Do you know what it was at the time

Amy Alexander: 37:31

When people started talking about that whole thing that went around on Twitter about do you eat with your clients? Yes, yeah. And I was pretty sure. It's one of the first things that I said, I guess I virtually raised my hand, and I said, you know, I find this fascinating, that we're asking each other these questions, because what it really feels to me like is we're avoiding the fact that many therapists at the moment, are in the dumpster fire with our clients in the existential angst of war, famine, climate change, COVID. And it's kind of easier. For us, I certainly believe this to talk about those inane things, which are named in my opinion, because you do what best for your practice. I trust you. If you're working with clients, nine times out of 10, I think in this country, I trust you, then we're avoiding something that's incredibly difficult. So what are we avoiding? I am these questions.

Peter Blundell: 38:36

It was really important that that in terms of like, where is our focus, you know, like, kind of be focusing our attention on and, you know, sometimes there is light relief, I suppose.

Amy Alexander: 38:48

Absolutely, absolutely. We got that.

Peter Blundell: 38:51

But it was quite interesting to see the escalation of

Amy Alexander: 38:58

It really did escalate, as well. It really escalate but also doesn't that really bring us to a point where we are all so so on the edge of something you know, and I can see that in my practice, I can see it with myself, I can see it, you know, and because I've because I have learned so much about, you know, trauma and complex trauma in my own work. And in my, my practice, it feels to me like we've all been pretty traumatized by the last couple of years in whatever shape or form that is. And so we're sort of on the edge. So are you eating a large bore? becomes like a thing. Yeah,

Peter Blundell: 39:47

Yeah, I was. I wondered whether the escalation possibly was also like what you're saying but also connect to almost like every single therapist could have an opinion on that topic. No. Not all top all topics are not necessarily all some therapists who I don't know if I can enter into this discussion, whereas that was a topic where each therapist say, I have an opinion on that and what I do,

Amy Alexander: 40:12

Yeah, but isn't that something about Twitter? Isn't that something about all of us all want to have an opinion? And I certainly know that a part of being on Twitter, if you're working in private practices, you can have an opinion. Yeah. And that was, but it was, it did strike me as this is one of them. I say there, you know, there are things I will put my feet into and things I will take my feet away from those kinds of fires. I mean, it's hard because I want to sometimes I you know, I go to the keyboard, and I think well, hold on one second, is this adding any value? And if I can't add value, I'm not saying it. And that's not from a place of at all. Like, if I'm not giving my best person know, if I can't add value to this, if I don't feel this is valuable. I think I'm gonna say it.

Peter Blundell: 41:04

I think I mean, I really appreciate I think that's, it's such a difficult thing to do with Twitter, in the moment, and then and then or will I leave it when I come back for this? You know, I think it's really, really, really difficult to try.

Amy Alexander: 41:20

My beloved therapist, when I first started back into therapy years ago said to me something that's always stuck to me. And she said, not everything needs to be said. Not everything needs to be said.

Peter Blundell: 41:32

And maybe we could add to that not everything needs to be said on Twitter.

Amy Alexander: 41:37

I think that's a good, amen. That's an Amen. Yes, I agree.

Peter Blundell: 41:47

I mean, it's been, it's been lovely. I suppose my last question would be for you kind of up to next, like if you've got any plans for the future? Or we will

Amy Alexander: 41:57

I do.

Peter Blundell: 41:58

Yeah,

Amy Alexander: 41:59

I think I'm in a very much carry on working with complex post traumatic stress. It's, it's the, it's really, for me, it's a connection, it's body work in myself and others. I really believe that trauma and complex Post Traumatic Stress has so much to do with illness and so much to do with, with addiction and behavior. And although I am firmly on the side of psychiatry, and I know that's uncomfortable for some people, but the pills do work for so many people. So I think a mixture of making sure in a holistic way that my practice continues on supporting not only me, and giving things to me, but to my clients. Because really, it's about my practices really has been about growing me up. I really grew up as a human being. And as a woman, I grew up in my practice, and my clients have grown up with me, some of my clients I've had for, you know, a decade. So we've grown up to with each other. So I think what I see in the next 20 years, is more growing. Eventually, I would like to get back into teaching a little bit I'd like to teach. And I'd like to start a podcast. But I don't know what yet. And I don't know what how that's going to be. But I've been encouraged a lot recently. So I think I'm going to try that outfit on and see what happens that and just you know, having as much good, fun as I can. Brilliant. That

Peter Blundell: 43:53

Sounds fantastic. And any tips for the podcast? Just ask us and we'll help. We know all the pitfalls.

Amy Alexander: 44:01

I will, I will be asking you. I will and I so appreciate the space to talk about my career, which is something I don't often do. Because when I people asked me what I do for a living at dinner parties, I say, oh, psychotherapist, and they say I bet you know what I'm thinking. If you looked at my fees, I might be able to tell you, but you have to pay me a substantial amount of money in order for me to tell you what you were thinking. So it's good to talk.

Peter Blundell: 44:35

Yeah, it's been brilliant. I've really enjoyed it. It's so nice to kind of hear about you and your experience. And yeah, let's stay connected.

Amy Alexander: 44:44

I would love that. Thank you so so much

Peter Blundell: 44:47

Thanks Amy.

Opening: 44:49

Thank you for listening to the therapist Connect Podcast, go to www.therapists-connect.com. For more discussions and debates this episode of Therapists Connect podcast is sponsored by webhealer. The number one website provider for private practice therapists, serving the community for 20 years when webhealer offers a non technical and fully supported online platform, helping therapists use the internet to grow their practice. Whether you need a website, a booking system, or even a secure email address for your practice, when he left can help contact where people today via www.webhealer.net and use the coupon Therapist Connect for 100 pounds off then do it for me service